A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts - Part 1: Power & Control - Naming What Was Taken
This five-part series is inspired by the book "A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts" by Tears of Eden founder Katherine Spearing, launching on October 14, 2025. The book explores the hidden wounds of spiritual abuse in the evangelical church and offers pathways toward healing, wholeness, and freedom. Each post connects a core idea from Katherine’s book to the lives of those living with, healing from, or supporting a loved one affected by spiritual abuse, along with relevant resources and vocabulary.
From the Book
Misuse of power is where abuse occurs. To understand abuse, we must locate the center of power. Who has it? How are they wielding it? Are they aware of the impact of their power?
Part of the recovery process includes noticing when and how our power was taken from us. Then we take steps to reclaim it. Perhaps we may even claim our power for the very first time.
Personal Reflection
Names hold power. They build connection, demonstrate ownership, and define identity. We eagerly anticipate the announcement of a newborn’s name and argue endlessly over the name of a new pet. Names help us recognize who someone is. They can also help us recognize what has happened to us.
In cases of spiritual abuse, naming the wrong done holds power as well. To name an act as abuse or trauma can almost feel overreactive at first. Evangelical Christianity often uses phrases like ‘turn the other cheek’, ‘hate the sin, not the sinner’, and ‘forgive seventy times seven’ to minimize and gloss over some very grievous wrongs.
If you have been hurt by someone wielding spiritual power, I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve the mistreatment. If someone made you feel less lovable or less valuable in the name of a higher power, using guilt and shame to silence you, I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve to have your faith used against you.
A secular counselor was able to hear my stories and name them as abuse. All at once, I felt free. I wasn’t crazy. I wasn’t weak or too sensitive or rebellious, or any other name Christian counselors had applied to my behavior. I was able to reclaim control of my own life, on my own terms. Katherine’s book dives deeper into this subject, and if you’ve happened upon this corner of the internet, I can confidently say her story will help you name what was taken from you and reclaim your power.
Come back for the next post in the series! Part 2: Loving Yourself when You Were Taught to Hate Yourself
Resource Section
Book: Diane Langberg’s Redeeming Power: Understanding Authority and Abuse in the Church (2020) outlines how misused power can damage both individuals and communities. She writes: “All power, wherever it is found, is meant to be used in the service of others. When it is not, abuse is the result.” This framing helps us understand that the misuse of spiritual authority is not a matter of doubt or disobedience but of systemic harm.
Article: “Spiritual Abuse: When Faith Leaders Cross the Line” – Psychology Today
Podcast: Uncertain S3:E2 Power and Control in Spiritual Abuse with Connie Baker
Key Vocabulary
Spiritual Abuse: Abuse that occurs within a religious context, including the deliberate use of God and a sacred text to manipulate, coerce, control, and exploit.